Attack of the Wild Turkeys
by Hiei-Rulez
Summary: [COMPLETED] Wild Turkeys attack Middle-Earth. What will our Heroes do? Rated PG13 for mild Turkey violence and random insanity.
1. Pippin's Prophesy of DOOM!

**Summary- Wild Turkeys attack Middle-Earth. What will our heroes do? Rated PG13 for mild Turkey violence and random insanity!  
  
WARNING- Do not, under any circumstances, provoke Wild Turkeys in any way, shape, or form. All stunts done in this fic were done by professionals and we will not be held responsible if you idiotic people and your idiotic friends try to do them as well. And even if you ARE a professional, we strongly suggest that you do NOT rob the nearest Turkey Farm, make off with a million Turkeys, and try to re-enact this fic. You WILL get hurt!!! Thank you!!!  
  
Wild Turkeys provided by...  
Uncle Sheldon's Turkey Farm  
  
Due to their high security, you will not be able to rob them of a million Turkeys and try and re-enact this fic. (We've thought of this before hand, so your feeble attempts will go unnoticed. Or we'll notice them and laugh long and hard at your failure)**  
  


* * *

"The end is near! Run...head for the hills! The end of the world is upon us!"  
  
It was quite enjoyable to see Perigrin Took, aka Pippin, running like hell through the street while screaming like a girl. But it was also bloody annoying, and quite pitiful to see, and hear, a full grown hobbit shrieking about 'the end'. So naturally, people just yelled for him to 'shut his gaping piehole' and went about their daily lives. It was just another 'normal' day in the Shire.  
  
Frodo Baggins was sitting outside his house with his friend Samwise Gamgee aka Sam, and his cousin Merriadoc Brandybuck aka Merry. They were enjoying the sight of two men fighting over a large keg of beer when a screaming Pippin barreled into them, knocking them into a huge dogpile on the ground. Pippin was still screaming his head off.  
  
"Pippin...P...Pip....PERIGIN TOOK WILL YOU SHUT UP!"  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAh...huh?" Pippin looked at his friends, who were all glaring at him. "Oh...sorry!"  
  
The hobbits all picked themselves up from the ground and dusted themselves off. It was a while before Merry broke the silence.  
  
"What is it now Pippin?"  
  
Pippin's face soon got a horrified look on it. Frodo whacked Merry upside the head.  
  
"Nice going...now he's gonna go all 'the end is near' on us!"  
  
Boy...how right was Frodo.  
  
"THE END IS NEAR...WE WILL ALL DIE!!! THEY'RE COMING TO GET US...AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"  
  
Sam and Merry grabbed hold of Pippin's arms so that he didn't hurt himself. Frodo looked the hobbit in the eye.  
  
"Pip...P...Pippin be...QUIET YOU NEANDERTHAL!"  
  
Pippin shut up.  
  
"Who's coming to get us Pip?" asked Merry.  
  
Pippin's eyes went wide.  
  
"Th...th...the TURKEYS!"

* * *

(2 weeks later, in Gondor)  
  
"Aragorn!"  
  
"No!"  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"I said NO, Legolas!"  
  
"CHICKEN!"  
  
"That's it...DIE, ELF!"  
  
An odder sight to be seen, other than Pippin running down a street screaming like hell, was a full grown man (a King in fact) chasing an elf through the hallway of a castle.  
  
The argument that had caused such an action had been this.

* * *

Flashback  
  
Aragorn and Legolas had been walking through the courtyard Gondor when they came across the stables. Millions of horses were tied up in there. Legolas had been eyeing them for some time, when an idea came to his mind and a truly evil smile crossed the elf's face.  
  
"I know that smile, Mellon-nin!" said Aragorn. "What are you planning that will get us into trouble today?"  
  
Legolas smirked. Had he been that easy to read? But this was Aragorn. They had been friends for quite some time and usually knew what the other was thinking.  
  
"You know that guard who always gets on your nerves?"  
  
Aragorn thought for a moment. There were a lot of guards who got on his nerves.  
  
"The most recent one."  
  
Aragorn gave a nod...then suddenly paled, knowing what was to come."  
  
"Absolutely not Legolas. I refuse to dye the man's horse an odd assortment of colors!"  
  
Legolas looked disappointed.  
  
"Oh come on. You were never afraid to do it in Rivendell!"  
  
"I was 8 years old, Legolas. And besides...I wasn't king of anything!"  
  
"Aragorn!"  
  
"No!"  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"I said NO, Legolas!"  
  
"CHICKEN!"  
  
"That's it...DIE, ELF!"  
  
Legolas bolted inside, with Aragorn hot on his heels.  
  
End Flashback

* * *

And that was when the certain annoying guard decided to walk into the room. When Aragorn had knocked Legolas to the ground and was pummeling him mercilessly with a pillow.  
  
"Whoops...sorry...I'll come back!"  
  
Aragorn leapt off the ground and Legolas sat up, straightening his hair.  
  
"No, that's ok. What did you need?" said Aragorn. His face was slightly red with laughter.  
  
"Um...masters Frodo, Sam, Pippin, and Merry are here to see you sire." said the guard.  
  
Aragorn and Legolas looked at each other and grinned. "Alright, send them in!"

* * *

(5 minutes later)  
  
After a happy reunion...which wasn't the happiest thing in the world since Pippin and Merry went directly to the kitchen to load up on food (We should have seen this coming) Aragorn, Legolas, and the Hobbits were all gathered together to talk about Pippin's little 'prophecy'.  
  
"Turkeys?" exclaimed Legolas after the 'odd' explanation, "You came all the way to Gondor to tell us that the world is ending courtesy of Turkeys?!?!"  
  
Pippin nodded.  
  
Aragorn rolled his eyes. "This is pitiful...even for you Pippin!" Legolas had to agree. "And you are the master of Pitiful!"  
  
Pippin sighed. Nobody ever believed him...though he had to admit, the idea of Turkeys ending the world was pretty stupid. But it was true. All of a sudden, Gimli came barging into the room, with Gandalf right behind him. Aragorn, Legolas, and the hobbits all jumped and turned around.  
  
"Don't you people ever knock?"  
  
"Sorry!"  
  
Both Gimli and Gandalf had the same look of utter horror on his face that Pippin had when he ran through the Shire, screaming like a girl.  
  
"What's wrong?"  
  
Gimli and Gandalf looked at each other. Then they both cried at the same time,  
  
"THE TURKEYS ARE ATTACKING!!!"

* * *

And that's it for the first chapter. It's completely random...I know!!! And I should probably finish with the other stories I've done first...but I was bored and this just came to my mind. Read and Review...please!!!


	2. The Prophesy comes True!

Thanks for the first reviews for this fic. I didn't think anyone would read it...most people don't like random LotR fics.  
  
**Aragorn: I don't see why...you're a good writer!!!  
  
Legolas: And funny too!!!  
  
Merry: But you DO enjoy torturing us! But then again...you do pay us to do the stuff...so otherwise you're cool!!!**  
  
Why thank you. (Exert from authoresses mind: My favorite people just complimented me...AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH) Anyway...here's the second chapter.  
  
**Pippin: What?!? There's more...TURKEYS!!! NOOOOOOOOO...I WON'T DO IT...YOU CAN'T MAKE ME!!!**  
  
in a singsong voice TURKEYS...TURKEYS...BRINGIN' ON THE TURKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYS!!!

* * *

As soon as Gimli and Gandalf mentioned the Turkeys, Pippin went wild.  
  
"See...see...I TOLD you the Turkeys were coming!!! And did you believe me? NOOOOOOOOOOO!!! And WHY? Because you NEVER believe me. I hope you all have learned that you should believe me when I say that wild animals are attacking in an attempt to destroy all that's good and green and whatever stuff they say when the world is DOOMED...DOOOOOMED I TELL YOU...DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMED!"  
  
Everyone was staring at Pippin with their mouths wide open in shock.  
  
"What?"  
  
Everyone was still staring. Soon Frodo managed to get over the shock of Pippin's 'moment'.  
  
"Um...right! So...what exactly is the deal with these...um...turkeys anyway?"  
  
Everyone looked at Pippin.  
  
"Don't look at me...I know nothing about these things!"  
  
Everyone groaned. Go figure...he never _knew_ anything. His head was full of hot air.  
  
"But you just said...nevermind!" stammered Legolas  
  
"Bloody useless you ARE!" said Aragorn.  
  
Everyone then looked at Gimli and Gandalf.  
  
"They just want to take over the world...you know...like Sauron tried to do but never accomplished thanks to us."  
  
Everyone nodded. Aragorn pushed himself to his feet and walked out of the room. Everyone followed him outside. Aragorn looked over the balcony and cried, "OH Valor!"  
  
There was a stampede over to the side. Flocked down below were thousands of Turkeys.  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAH!"  
  
Pippin and Gimli were screaming bloody murder again and Gandalf had a look of utter horror on his face.  
  
"Pippin...Gimli...Pip...G...FOR THE LOVE OF VALOR WILL YOU TWO PUT A CORK IN IT!" screamed Legolas.  
  
The two shut up, blinking at Legolas in surprise. Even Aragorn, who had known Legolas for the longest time, was shocked at his outburst. Even the Turkeys, who had been gobbling up a storm, had fallen silent.  
  
"Sorry Legolas!"  
  
"That's OK."  
  
Everyone went back over to the side of the balcony. The Turkeys were staring at them with red eyes. It was pretty freaky. And just as the staring contest was going underway, the group got the biggest shock of their lives.  
  
"Alright, here's the deal people...you let us rule the world...and we just might let you leave here alive."  
  
Everyone's jaw dropped. Legolas turned to Pippin and Gimli.  
  
"Ok..._now_ you can scream."  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"  
  
Frodo turned to everyone else.  
  
"Okay...did everyone just see that?"  
  
Aragorn's eyes widened.  
  
"YOU CAN TALK? TURKEYS CAN'T TALK"  
  
The man stopped to consider this.  
  
"Can they?"  
  
Frodo and Sam shrugged, Gandalf tried to think, Legolas shook his head, and Pippin and Gimli continued to shriek their heads off. The Turkeys were getting annoyed.  
  
"WILL THE TWO BUMBLING IDIOTS UP THERE PLEASE STOP SCREAMING...WE'RE GETTING MAJOR HEADACHES DOWN HERE!"  
  
Sam nodded, rubbing his head. Legolas shook his head again.  
  
"Must...get...ringing...out...ears...OUCH!"  
  
The Turkey leaders' words, meanwhile, had just registered into Pippin's brain.  
  
"HEY...who's he calling a Bumbling Idiot?"  
  
Everyone stared at him.  
  
"Isn't it obvious, Pip?" said Merry.  
  
Down below, the Wild Turkeys were getting impatient. Finally, they could take it no longer.  
  
"That's it...we're coming up and taking over this city!"  
  
Everyone raced inside and grabbed whatever random weapon they found. Legolas had his bow and arrows, Aragorn his sword, Gimli his axes, Gandalf his staff and his sword, and the Hobbits found themselves some smaller swords to use.  
  
The other Gondorian soldiers had gathered outside the castle waiting to receive directions from Aragorn.  
  
"Just go...kill them or something."  
  
They were the oddest directions ever, but they went to do it anyway. A few minutes later, all of them came running back screaming. There was a frantic stampede into the castle to hide. Faramir came running up to them.  
  
"You're on your own with this one!"  
  
Then he disappeared into the palace.  
  
"You know what...I think I'll join them!" stammered Pippin, trying to slink away. Sam grabbed hold of his shirt collar.  
  
"Oh no you don't!"  
  
Aragorn and Legolas looked at each other in shock.  
  
"I don't get it!" muttered Aragorn. "We've battled Orcs, Urik-Hai, even Sauron himself...yet we can't even handle a bunch of birds?!?"  
  
Gandalf heard the comment and spoke up.  
  
"These aren't normal birds!"  
  
But before he could explain further, millions of Turkeys flooded up the stairs towards them.  
  
Aragorn managed to behead a few before he was buried under a tidal wave of feathers and sharp pointy beaks.  
  
"YOW...watch the beaks...they hurt!"  
  
Legolas was shooting bird after bird after bird after...  
  
"OH VALOR...?"  
  
That had to be the BIGGIST turkey anyone had ever seen. It was about the same size as a horse (which is pretty big) or maybe even bigger.  
  
"DEATH TO ALL WHO OPPOPSE ME!"  
  
Everyone looked at each other.  
  
"Opposing you...who's opposing you?" stammered Frodo, his voice becoming high and squeaky. "Is anyone opposing him?"  
  
Everyone fearfully shock their heads. Pippin made a cross with his fingers and Gimli cowered behind Gandalf's legs.  
  
"See...no-one's opposing you...I'm really scared now!"  
  
The giant turkey seemed to get even bigger if that was even possible...wait a minute...it was  
  
"Turkeys...ATTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!"  
  
Everyone screamed, turned tail, and ran for their lives.  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAH!"  
  
Aragorn and Legolas were hiding behind a marble statue of Arnold Schwarzenegger. Well...actually, Aragorn was hiding behind the marble statue of Arnold Schwarzenegger. Legolas was hiding behind a nearby statue of Brad Pitt. (Random girls who are not in the scene drool all over the carpet)  
  
"Brave King of Gondor huh?"  
  
"Hey...I'm not the only one here screaming like a girl!"  
  
"Good point...Pippin's doing enough for all of us."  
  
Both look at Pippin, who is running around in circles screaming and flapping his arms in sheer panic.  
  
"You know...that is the most pathetic sight I've ever seen!" said Legolas.  
  
"Yup!" agreed Aragorn. "Shall we join him?"  
  
"Let's!"  
  
(A few minutes later)  
  
Aragorn, Legolas, and Pippin are all running around in circles screaming and flapping their arms in sheer panic.  
  
Gandalf has taken the hiding spot behind the Arnold Schwarzenegger statue. Frodo and Merry have taken refuge in the stables. Sam had thrown himself from the roof and was hanging over the side of the balcony. Gimli was sitting in a corner, covered in a Gondorian Flag. The Turkeys were running amok, terrorizing people and using the bronze statue of George W. Bush as target practice. I'm what some people consider a Bush Basher What possessed Aragorn or whichever king at the time to buy a Bronze, George W. Bush statue...we will never know.  
  
The Turkey king (We shall call him Sheldon) was watching the scene before him.  
  
"Pathetic souls!" he muttered to himself. "They do not deserve to live!"  
  
One of his Turkey henchmen-things came up to him.  
  
"But without them...the story would have no moral meaning!"  
  
Sheldon grabbed the Turkey henchmen-thing by the red, scrawny thing Turkey's call necks and hurled him over the wall. Everyone stopped as they heard his never ending scream as he plummeted to his death (And at picturing the sight, I proceeded to laugh my head off)  
  
"WHO GIVES A DAMN ABOUT THE STORIES MORAL MEANING?!? MORAL MEANING MEANS NOTHING TO THE GENERAL PUBLIC!"  
  
What he knows about the General Public and how we think, I have no idea. Is he a politician? Is he an American Citizen? Does he have the right to vote for the next American President? Is he a corrupt Cabinet member like everybody else who works up there in those high paying jobs while people who have kids to feed are stuck working for people who give them wages that equal to what a paperboy gets? DOES HE HAVE A STRONG GERMAN/ROMANIAN ACCENT THAT MAKES HIM A DISTINGUISHED PERSON? DOES HE WALK ON TWO LEGS AND GOES TO THE LOCAL MCDONALDS TO PIG OUT AND BECOME THE FAT, INCENTIVE FIENDISH [exploit deleted] THAT HE IS? DOES HE HAVE A BLOODY BANKING ACCOUNT? (gasps for breath) Sorry...lost my mind of focus there. But I'm back!!! When I have something going I tend to rant on and on about it. Back to the story.  
  
Sheldon looked around at the stunned faces from both Fellowship and Turkey henchmen-things.  
  
"What?"  
  
Frodo coughed, Gimli covered his face again, Gandalf peeked out from behind the statue, and Legolas, Aragorn, and Pippin had frozen in the act of screaming.  
  
"Um...you just threw a guy over the wall!" said Aragorn.  
  
Sheldon shrugged.  
  
"You wanna go over too?"  
  
"Nope...I'm cool!"  
  
"Good...now continue your fear!"  
  
All of them gave shaky salutes! And then...  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAH!"  
  
"SAVE ME MOMMY!"  
  
"I DON'T WANNA DIE!"  
  
"GET ME OUTTA HERE!"  
  
"I KNEW WE NEVER SHOULD HAVE LEFT THE SHIRE!"  
  
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"  
  
At least 10 Turkeys were pecking Gimli viciously under the flag. 5 had chased Gandalf out from behind the statue. The Stable was bouncing around as Frodo and Merry destroyed everything trying to escape some especially vicious Turkeys. Aragorn had managed to pull Sam up to the balcony and resulted in having the two of them chased around by Turkeys waving spears. Other Turkeys had managed to break down the Palace doors and now millions of Guards and other Soldiers were running around screaming in attempts to escape the Turkeys.  
  
Sheldon sighed as he settled back to watch.  
  
"I'm going to enjoy taking over the world!"

* * *

**Bloody Akiko Nagi the Insane- I'm glad you like it!  
  
Retrokitten87- Random and Insane are my specialties.  
  
Hanna M. - Set after the War of the Ring...and long before Frodo goes to the Grey Havens...I think!  
  
Lomiothiel- LOL! The beginning reminded you of Jackass...I take that as a compliment!!! Thank you!!!  
  
Kelsey- A prophesy of doom?!?!?! I like doom...doom is good!!!  
  
Im A Brandybuck- YAY!!! I got a review from you!!!  
**  
I shall update...in a week...or a few days...or whenever I come up with a good idea for the next chapter!!! But on a brighter note...I'M OUT OF SCHOOL!!! YA-HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Pinch me...I'm dreaming!!!  
  
Pippin pinches her  
  
YOW!!! What was that for?  
  
**Pippin: You said Pinch Me!!!**  
  
Grrrrrrrrrrrrr...SHINJIMAE BAKA YAROU!!! (Go to hell, stupid bastard)  
  
See ya soon people!!! And if any of you have cable...watch 'Salem's Lot' on TNT this Sunday at 8pm. And get scared out of your minds...Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!


	3. The Wild Turkey's Attack!

**I saw 'Salem's Lot!!! Let's just say that when it was over, I wanted a crowbar so I could rip my eyes out!!! That was the freakiest thing I have ever seen in my life, not including the movie 'The Others'...and I don't get scared by movies that easily.  
  
But on a brighter note...I love you people!!! You guys really know how to review!!! Thanks a bunch!!!  
  
(Bear Hugs all the people who've read and reviewed this story)  
  
To my Reviewers:**  
  
Bloody Akiko Nagi the Insane-I had no idea you were a Republican!!! I'll try not to put any more Bush Bashing into this story...but other than that, I'm glad you like it!!!  
  
Hanna M. - Thanks for telling me!!! I've just seen so many stories where it's spelled that way!!!  
  
Nienna-Yavetil- Yup...evil Turkeys!!! Nobody should like them...but they're pretty funny!!!  
  
Kelsey- Yup...named after Uncle Sheldon's Turkey Farm!!! He's evil...but his name makes you laugh!!! If you've seen the Spongebob Squarepants episode where Plankton and his family gets the 'secret formula' he's evil but his name is also Sheldon!!! Funny, huh?  
  
Lomiothiel- lol! NO SCHOOL...NO SCHOOL...YA-HOOOOOOOOOO!!! joins in on lil' dance  
  
Retrokitten87- I'll look forward to your story...when you post it up, that is!!! Insane Randomness is my specialty!!!  
  
Im a Brandybuck- Wow...my Fav. Author put me on their Fav. Author list!!! That is so cool!!! LOL...giant Middle-Earth Thanksgiving!!! And I think you're right about getting the statues on E-Bay...but I'll have to double check with Aragorn...when he's not busy!!! (By the way...if I use your Thanksgiving idea, don't be offended by it)  
  
**Thanks again...and here's your reward for being so kind.**

It was late!!! Very late!!! Just four minutes and 23 seconds to midnight, to be exact!!! And like every normal person who stays up until midnight, being chased around the courtyard of a palace by crazed, power-hungry Turkeys...everyone was either cranky...or tired. Aragorn and Legolas were running in circles taking turns to carry a snoring Pippin, Gandalf was nodding from behind the Arnold Schwarzenegger statue, Frodo and Merry had curled up in a stall in the stables along with some of the Turkeys, and Gimli was snoring loudly from underneath the Gondorian Flag. The Soldiers and Guards were also trying to stay awake. Finally, Sheldon stood up and all action (if you could call it that) stopped.  
  
"All right...It's late...I'm tired...and neither you nor my Turkey henchmen- things have the strength to go on!"  
  
Everyone groaned to show he was correct.  
  
"We finish this tomorrow. Same place...8:00am...be there!"  
  
Aragorn tried to glare at Sheldon, but only ended up yawning.  
  
"Make it 10:30am and you got yourself a deal!"  
  
"Fine!"  
  
They all watched as Sheldon and his Turkeys walked off. Then, without further ado they all collapsed and went to sleep.  
  
(The Next Day...at 10:31am)  
  
(Western style music plays in the Background)  
  
Everyone was standing in the Palace courtyard wearing US Army outfits...complete with Machine Guns, Tanks, and Hand Grenades. A few of the men were holding Bazookas.  
  
Over the side of the wall, everyone could see the freakishly large outline of Sheldon the Turkey King. Trotting along behind him, were his Turkey henchmen-things. The Fellowship and the Gondorian soldiers and guards all tried to hide their fear as they waited for the battle that was to come.  
  
"You're late!"  
  
Sheldon looked at his watch. (Once more...technology shows itself) How he was able to see it under all those feathers, I don't really know...but that doesn't matter.  
  
"Only by a minute, puny human!"  
  
All the humans there all glared at Sheldon. Aragorn tightened his hold on his Machine Gun.  
  
"What's he getting so mad about?" Pippin asked Legolas, his helmet falling down over his eyes for the hundredth time.  
  
"Aragorn always gets offended when someone calls him a 'Puny Human' and I found that out the hard way. Who knew he had such a good right hook!" answered Legolas. Frodo and Merry, who had both overheard the conversation, stifled snickers. Aragorn turned and glared at the blond elf who grinned sheepishly and turned away.  
  
Sheldon gave a wild cry that sounded like a cross between an Ape, Tarzan, and Godzilla.  
  
"KILL THEM...KILL THEM ALL!"  
  
The Turkey's surged forward. The Fellowship and the other men all readied their weapons.  
  
"LEAVE NONE ALIVE...SLAUGHTER THEM...MAKE THEM BEG FOR MERCY AT THE HANDS OF AN UNSTOPABLE TURKEY ARMY, BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA..."  
  
"Dude...stop talking, you're breaking the focus of a raging battle here!" said Aragorn.  
  
Sheldon blinked in surprise.  
  
"Oh...sorry. Carry on, then!"  
  
"Thank you!" said Aragorn. Then he turned back to his men...and the rest of the Fellowship.  
  
"FIRE FUTURISTIC WEAPONRY!!!"  
  
Everyone fired weapons. Well, everyone except Pippin, who was only allowed to watch seeing as he couldn't be trusted with advanced technology that included things that could really hurt/kill people. The Turkey's however, were brave souls and apparently were NOT afraid to run headlong, screaming like girls, into heavy fire, which resulted in a lot of them being killed. Those that did make it through the heavy artillery did not waste any time to go straight after Pippin since he was the only one without said 'Futuristic Weaponry'.  
  
"MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMY!"  
  
Aragorn and Legolas both turned around.  
  
"Well, it's not surprising that they all went after Pippin first."  
  
Legolas nodded. Then he gave a small grin.  
  
"At least this time, it's not us!"  
  
Aragorn grinned as well and turned back around to fire his bright green Machine Gun. The battle was raging on and on, and it looked like it was never going to stop.  
  
(5 hours later)  
  
"STOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP!"  
  
Everyone froze in the acts of...doing whatever it was they had been doing for the past 5 hours.  
  
Sheldon was bored. But then again...so was everyone else. What's new?  
  
"I say we settle this fight in the only way that seems best!" said Sheldon.  
  
"Jim Rummy?" asked Faramir.  
  
"Karaoke Contest?" suggested Gimli.  
  
"Musical Chairs!" cried Frodo.  
  
"Chess!" piped up a Random Turkey henchman-thing (we'll call him Charlie)  
  
"A Pie Eating Contest!" shouted Pippin and Merry  
  
"NO!" everyone yelled.  
  
Finally, Sheldon held up a large wing.  
  
"I got it!" he cried. "We shall play...BARBIE!"  
  
(Cricket...cricket...cricket...)  
  
"Barbie?" said Sam with a raised eyebrow.  
  
Aragorn puffed out his chest in one of those 'I'm-attempting-to-be-a-macho- man' type ways.  
  
"We're men...we're manly men! We do NOT play Barbie!"  
  
Had Arwen heard his 'We're manly men' line I'm sure she would have scoffed and walked away, shaking her head in shame at her overly confident husband. (Excuse me while I scoff and walk away shaking my head at this overly confident stud muffin...scoffing)  
  
Sheldon raised himself up to his full height...which was pretty damn tall.  
  
"We Turkey's play Barbie! Are you saying we aren't manly?"  
  
Aragorn coughed nervously.  
  
"Well...yeah!"  
  
Sheldon was silent for a moment. Everyone was afraid he would rip off Aragorn's head...or else throw him over the side of the wall to his death.  
  
"Fine...we shall have a Karaoke Contest! If one of our 5 contestants wins...it's our victory. If one of your 5 contestants wins...it's your victory!"  
  
Sheldon held out his wing. Aragorn eyes it for a moment, then shook it.  
  
"We except!"  
  
****

**Who are the 5 contestants for the Fellowship's team? What will happen? Find out in the next chapter!!! Dum-dum-DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUM!!!**  
  
Aragorn: He suggested BARBIE!!!  
  
Frodo: Of all the things in the world...why that!  
  
Legolas: Hey...be lucky he didn't suggest we play 'Barney and Friends'  
  
Pippin: Or 'My Little Pony'  
  
Aragorn: THE HORROR!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!  
  
Sheldon: And they say _they're_ manly man!  
  
**Review...as always!!! I'll update soon...hopefully I get the computer before I have to go to the summer camp with the stalked Math Teacher...yech!!! I HATE math!!! Bye-bye for now folks!!! **


	4. Karaoke: The Final Battle

**I'm happy today. I got the Van Helsing Soundtrack...and it ROCKS!!! I should give most of the other songs a chance...but so far, my fav. songs are #4 and #12. But #12 is so sad because it's the part where someone dies. But the movie had Hugh Jackman in it...and at least he didn't die, but instead had his shirt off for a large amount of time and I nearly had a heart attack. Damn he is CUTE!!!  
  
Anywho...Thanks so much for reviewing. Here's your update!!!**  
  
(In the Fellowship stronghold...)  
  
The Fellowship...and Faramir...were gathered in the Palace basement, trying to decide what to do next. The remaining soldiers (yes some of them died) were lounging on beanbag chairs, playing pool, and throwing darts. Some of them were even trying their luck at Twister. Pippin was looking longingly at the darts.  
  
"So, what's the plan?" asked Sam quietly. Pippin jerked back to Middle- Earth and turned around. Aragorn looked at everyone. "Legolas, Frodo, Pippin, and Merry are definitely singing...since they are the best here!" Everyone nodded in agreement. "But, who's the fifth singer?" piped up Faramir. Instantly, everyone's gaze turned to Aragorn.  
  
"WHAT!!! Why me?!?" cried Aragorn.  
  
"Because, as much as you hate to admit it, you are the next best singer here Aragorn!" pointed out Legolas.  
  
Aragorn looked at everyone. Frodo did his world famous Puppy-eyes, that nobody could resist (probably the reason why a lot of girls have fallen for him...at least...that's my reason)  
  
"Alright, I'm in!"  
  
Everyone cheered!!!  
  
"Pity!" said Gimli. "I was really hoping I could sing Ricky Martin!"  
  
"EVERYONE DUCK AND COVER!" screamed Frodo. Everyone ran from the room and hid.  
  
(In the Enemy Stronghold...)  
  
Sheldon glared angrily at the sorry bunch of Turkeys assembled before him. Then he began his not-so-helpful Pep Talk.  
  
"We must win!' he shouted. "At all costs...or else you shall die, and I shall die. But most importantly...I shall die!" (He's a conceited old Turkey...DEAL WITH IT) Sheldon took a deep breath. "What do you have to say for yourselves?"  
  
The Turkey henchmen-things all looked at each other.  
  
"Let us DANCE!"  
  
And the Turkeys started to do a mix between the Charleston and an Irish Jig. This went on all night. Who says Pep Talks aren't productive!!!  
  
(The Next Day)  
  
The Line-up went like this...  
  
Fellowship: 1. Legolas 2. Frodo 3. Merry 4. Pippin 5. Aragorn  
  
Turkey's: 1. Paul 2. John 3. George 4. Ringo 5. Sheldon  
  
(Yes I named all the Beatles...DEAL WITH IT)  
  
The Fellowship...Faramir...and the other soldiers were sitting on one side of the room. The Turkeys were sitting on the other side. Each side was exchanging Death Glares and insults to the other's Mothers.  
  
"Why did we have to settle this at 10:30?" complained Gandalf to Pippin. "My favorite Soap Opera is on!"  
  
Pippin was looking quite disturbed. "You watch Soap Operas?"  
  
Pippin's voice carried, causing everyone to turn around.  
  
"Gandalf does WHAT?!?" cried Legolas.  
  
Gandalf blushed and Pippin covered his face with hands.  
  
"Um...nothing!" mumbled Pippin.  
  
The others shrugged and went back to the Death Glares and the 'Your Mama' insults. And then, the competition began.  
  
A man got up on the large stage in the center of the room. (I have no idea where the things come from...they just pop up) Apparently...he was the announcer.  
  
"Welcome to the Karaoke Competition for Middle-Earth." The man shouted into the Microphone. "I'm your host, The Announcer Guy!"  
  
"Are you Irish?" asked Pippin.  
  
"No...Scottish!"  
  
"OK!" Pippin nodded, satisfied. Everyone raised an eyebrow at the young hobbit.  
  
"What...I was curious?!?!"  
  
Everyone shook their heads in exasperation and turned back to the Announcer Guy.  
  
"Anyway...the first singer for today is...Legolas!"  
  
Everyone in the Fellowship side cheered. The Turkeys booed. (Every Legolas fan girl out there throws rotten Tomatoes at the Turkeys)  
  
Legolas climbed up onto the stage and started to sing in that Oh-so- charming voice that won us over in my Karaoke fic...that was taken off (I have never gotten over that)  
  
"I need one more step and I'm outta the yard. I got a pocket full of mischief and I'm guilty as charged. All the misters and misses know the name of my tune. Without your help I guess I'm headed for imminent doom.  
  
So let's go...  
  
'Cuz I don't know what to do  
  
'Less I'm beside of you.  
  
You're the one...who saves the day...who beats the odds, each and very way. You're the one I can rely on, when the whole world comes undone...Yeah, you're...the one"  
  
Everyone was cheering...even the Turkeys. Sheldon had tears in his eyes and was slowly wiping them away with his wing.  
  
"That was beautiful!" he sniffed, as he blew his nose (Or beak...whatever) on a small lace hanky.  
  
Legolas grinned widely as he sat back down to the excited cheers and compliments from his friends. If things went this smoothly...they might actually win. The Final Battle for Middle-Earth had finally begun.  
  
**It's not as long as the other chapters...but at least it's chapter. Anyway...I need some suggestions for songs for these people.  
  
Pippin  
  
Merry  
  
Aragorn  
  
Frodo  
  
Paul  
  
John  
  
George  
  
Ringo  
  
Sheldon  
  
If you have a suggestion...write down the title and the lyrics in your review...not to mention the usual content of a review. Have fun...and have a great 4th of July weekend!!!**


	5. Kudos to the Fellowship!

**Hello there folks. I have an announcement to make. I HATE MATH DAMMIT!!! I have to go to a summer camp where my Parents are making me take some SAT Prep class...and it's Hell with a CAPITAL H!!! I swear I'll fail that class...not that I care...I flunk math anyway. I was so close to falling asleep in that class. But before that stinking class...I have a Medieval Legends and Murder Mysteries class where the teacher brings in a whole lot of weapons! REAL weapons...it is so cool!!! Well...that's all for my announcement.  
  
My sister said I should put this here so I'm doing it.  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own LotR or the Beatles...but I do own the Turkey King, Sheldon...seeing as I ate him for Thanksgiving...hehehe. Oh yeah...and I don't own Uncle Sheldon's Turkey Farm...or maybe I do...I don't know if it's a real place anyway. Ok...I own Sheldon and the Turkey Farm but that is IT!!! Oh...and the Marble and Bronze statues in the courtyard of Arnold and Brad.  
  
There now...that didn't take too long. Here's your update**.  
  
The Announcer Guy took up the microphone again.  
  
"Next up...we have, Pippin!"  
  
More cheering from the Fellowship side. One again the Turkeys boo. (Pippin fan girls pelt them with old shoes and dirt clogs)  
  
Pippin scrambled up on the stage, and tumbled right off. (Snickers all around) He grinned sheepishly at the laughs, made a large sweeping bow, and climbed back onto the stage. This time, regaining his balance.  
  
Pippin took a deep breath.  
  
Aragorn saw the look in his eyes.  
  
"Oh no...he's not gonna!"  
  
Frodo noticed the look too.  
  
"Oh yeah...he's gonna!"  
  
Pippin began to sing.  
  
"The cup of life This is the one Now is the time Don't ever stop Push it along Gotta be strong Push it along Right to the top  
  
Como Cain y Abel Es un partido cruel Tienes que pelear Por una estrella Consigue con honor La copa del amor Para sobrevivir luchar per ella Luchar por ella Do you really want it...  
  
Here we go! Ale, Ale, Ale! Go, go, go! Ale, Ale, Ale Arriba va! El mundo esta de pie Go, Go, Go!! Ale, Ale, Ale"  
  
And he sang Ricky Martin, doing everything, including the taking off his shirt and twirling it around his head. (Pippin Fan Girls swoon and Faint, those who can withstand it, just stare and gape...drooling all over the carpet)  
  
The Fellowship was amazed. Pippin was amazing. He was as good as Legolas when it came to singing.  
  
"Since when did Pippin know Spanish?" inquired Merry.  
  
"Since this chapter apparently!" replied Faramir in awe.  
  
Aragorn's mouth was hanging open. The Turkeys all had the exact same look on their faces. (Pippin Fan Girls still chattering away about how hot Pippin is) Pippin leaps down off the stage but instead of landing gracefully on his feet, he plunges like a rock to the ground and lands hard on his arise with a loud thud.  
  
"OW!"  
  
The hall erupted with laughter as the clumsy hobbit made his way, grinning, back to his seat.  
  
"Well, that performance ended with a bang!" said Legolas with a smirk.  
  
Aragorn and Frodo couldn't help it and burst out laughing again, Frodo literally falling of his chair. This action issued more rounds of laughter. Even Frodo found his fall hilarious.  
  
The Announcer Guy grinned and took up the microphone again.  
  
"OK...hehehe...next singer is Merry."  
  
Merry climbed up onto the stage, with much more balance then Pippin since he didn't fall off, and took the microphone from The Announcer Guy.  
  
Once again the Fellowship cheered and the Turkeys booed. (Merry Fan Girls pelt them with rocks)  
  
Merry grinned and began to sing.  
  
"We want fun and you better believe it! We want fun 'cos we desperately need it! We want fun, but you don't understand...you gotta HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! make me a man!  
  
We want fun and you better believe it! We want fun either take it, or leave it! We want fun, and we're gonna get pasted! We want to have fun, and we want to get wasted!"  
  
Everyone clapped and cheered wildly. (Merry Fan Girls whistle and cheer) The Turkeys were starting to get pretty nervous. So far, everyone was really good. There was no way they could compete with this.  
  
As Merry made it back to his seat, Sam leaned over to him and asked, "Thinking about tonight ahead of time?"  
  
Legolas overheard and snickered. Merry got a dreamy look on his face and nodded.  
  
Next up was Frodo. The routine went the same way as it did the past 3 times. The Fellowship cheers, the Turkeys boo, and the Fan Girls pelt them with hard objects. (Frodo Fan Girls hit them with chainsaws...killing 3 Turkeys)  
  
Frodo begins to sing.  
  
"Living is easy with eyes closed. Misunderstanding all you see. It's getting hard to be someone but it all works out. It doesn't matter much to me.  
  
Let me take you down 'cause I'm going to...Strawberry Fields. Nothing is real...and nothing to get hung about. Strawberry Fields forever!"  
  
(Song from the Beatles...I'm beginning to become obsessed with them, although most of them are dead and the others are really OLD. But it's nice)  
  
Everyone cheers and whistles. Apparently, Frodo still has his skill. Some members of the Fellowship were doing the Cigarette Lighter-thingy. (You know, where you hold up the lighter and wave it around)  
  
Frodo grinned and climbed down from the stage and took his seat. The Announcer Guy took up the mike again.  
  
"Alright...next singer is Aragorn."  
  
We repeat the situation where the Fellowship cheers and the Turkeys (You'd think they've learnt by now) boo. The Fan Girls (Me included) once again pelt them with various objects. (This time...it's silver Kitchenware)  
  
Aragorn grinned and began to sing.  
  
"Way behind the water hole A little down the line The jungle and the plains and peaks Are scheduled to be mine  
  
I'm gonna be the ruler Of most everything around From the grandest of the mountains To the humble common ground  
  
My reign will be a super awesome thing  
  
Oh, I just can't wait to be king"  
  
Once again, the room was filled with cheering people. The Turkeys were looking at each other nervously. There was no way they could compete with this.  
  
"LUNCH BREAK!"  
  
The yell echoed through the entire room. Instantly, there was a stampede out the room to the buffet table. The competition would continue after lunch.  
  
**And that is the end of this chapter. See...I finally updated.  
  
To my Reviewers:  
**  
xCandyFloss86x- Thanks for reviewing. And great suggestion...but I had an idea for his song.  
  
Sake- Of course you can use Sheldon and the statues. My priceless objects...are your priceless objects.  
  
Im a Brandybuck- Frodo serenading the crowd. I'm sure you wouldn't be the only Frodo Fan who would swoon and scream at that part. (Chucks another Chainsaw at Turkeys)  
  
BubbleBubbleGumGum- I don't know that song. For some reason...I never got around to seeing the 3rd Harry Potter. Glad you liked it though.  
  
Lomiothiel- I'm not sure if yours is the longest review. Yours and someone else's tie for long.  
  
Nienna-yavetil- Hyper is good...and so is hobbity goodness. I'm feeling hyper too. Of course...maybe you'd feel hyper too once you found out that 'King Arthur' is rated PG13 for intense Battle Scenes. That means gratuitous violence...YES!!!  
  
**Thanks again to all of you for reviewing (I've said that twice...hehehe) Now...I'm off to not update for another two weeks. BYE!!! (Runs away) **


	6. MiddleEarth is Saved!

**This is it...the final Chapter. What will be the outcome? Let's find out.  
**  
Lunch was very short...but for some it wasn't over. (ahem...Pippin...ahem) When they had all finished, they sat back down in the room and threw more random and pointless insults at each other until it was time to start.  
  
"First up for the Turkeys is...Paul!"  
  
Paul got up on stage. The Turkeys cheered, the Fellowship booed...the Fan Girls booed with them...and nobody pelted them with random object since the Turkeys have no fans whatsoever. (Plus nobody is going to attack the Fan Girls unless they have a death wish)  
  
Paul began to sing.  
  
"Starting from here, lets make a promise You and me, let's just be honest We are gonna run, nothing can stop us Even the night, that falls all around us  
  
Soon there'll be laughter and voices And the clouds over the mountains We'll run away on roads that are empty Lights from the airfield shining above you"  
  
He was horrible. The Fellowship all covered their ears. Even a few of the Turkeys were wincing.  
  
"He's worse than Gimli!" cried Pippin  
  
"Nobody is worse than Gimli." said Legolas. "But this guy comes in a very close Second."  
  
The Fan Girls were throwing rotten tomatoes at Paul.  
  
"Get off the Stage, ya quack!"  
  
Paul walked off the stage.  
  
The Announcer Guy rubbed his ears in pain before taking up the microphone.  
  
"Um...do we have to continue?"  
  
"YES!" bellowed Sheldon, standing up to his full hight.  
  
The Announcer Guy cowered in fear.  
  
"Alright, alright...just DON'T HURT ME! I have a Wife...and two kids!"  
  
"I doubt we needed the Family History...but whatever." muttered Aragorn.  
  
"Um...the next singer is...uh...John."  
  
John went up on stage. (cheers and boos)  
  
"And she bangs, she bangs  
  
Oh baby  
  
When she moves, she moves  
  
I go crazy  
  
'cause she looks like a flower but she stings like a bee  
  
Like every girl in history  
  
She bangs, she bangs"  
  
The Fellowship were all hiding under their chairs. (Let's just say...if any of you have heard William Hung sing this...John makes him sound like Clay Aiken)  
  
"MAKE IT STOP...MAKE IT STOOOOOOOOOOOP!" screamed Faramir.  
  
"Find a happy place...find a happy place..."mumbled Gimli  
  
HELP ME MOMMY!" yelped Sam.  
  
Next up was George.  
  
"Oops...I did it again  
  
I played with your heart, got lost in the game  
  
Oh baby, baby  
  
Oops...You think I'm in love  
  
That I'm sent from above  
  
I'm not that innocent"  
  
Everybody was in shock. It was bad enough that the guy was terrible...but he was also singing Britney Spears. If that wasn't torture...I don't know what is.  
  
"NEXT!"  
  
It was now Ringo's turn.  
  
"Under the sea  
  
Under the sea  
  
Darling it's better  
  
Down where it's wetter  
  
Take it from me  
  
Up on the shore they work all day  
  
Out in the sun they slave away  
  
While we devotin'  
  
Full time to floatin'  
  
Under the sea"  
  
He wasn't as bad as the first three...but he was still bad.  
  
Then came Sheldon.  
  
The entire Fellowship were now supplied with earplugs, since Gandalf said he had to go to the bathroom and instead gone to the drugstore to pick some up.  
  
"All you people can't you see, can't you see  
  
How your love's affecting our reality  
  
Every time we're down  
  
You can make it right  
  
And that makes you larger than life"  
  
The Announcer guy had enough.  
  
"That's over. I'm declaring the Fellowship winner by default."  
  
Sheldon leapt to his feet.  
  
"You can't do that...you aren't a judge."  
  
Suddenly...in walked Chuck Norris and Simon Cowell.  
  
"Well, we are."  
  
Everyone does that cartoon-style jaw drop. (You know, where their bottom jaw hits the floor and their tongue rolls out for miles)  
  
"Um...ok. Who do you think wins."  
  
"The Fellowship," said Chuck Norris without hesitation.  
  
"You Turkey's are bloody awful," replied Simon.  
  
Everybody looked at Sheldon. The Turkey seemed to shrink before their eyes. Aragorn grinned.  
  
"Roast Turkey anyone?"  
  
Everyone cheered. Merry pulled out his trusty Flame-Thrower (I own this too) and flames the Turkeys. They all screamed and ran around in circles until they fell over dead. When all the Turkeys were dead (Including Sheldon) the Fellowship decided to have a giant Thanksgiving Dinner. (Thanks to Im a Brandybuck for the idea)  
  
Everybody was invited...and nobody asked where the millions of Turkeys had come from. They didn't want to know.  
  
It was the biggest party in the world. There were colorful streamers and confetti and balloons. Loads of food (Mainly Turkey) and Fireworks and dancing and music and all that other good stuff you find at Parties. Even a clown showed up. Of course they had to pay $145. for him...but that didn't matter. Middle-Earth was safe...and nothing could change that.  
  
THE END????????  
  
**I think I'm going to make a sequel to this fic. More Randomness...more animals...more LotR!!! Here's a quick preview.  
******

**====================  
**Title: Attack of the Rabid Squirrels. Summary: (Sequel to 'Attack of the Wild Turkeys') An Army of squirrels attack the Fellowship...but the squirrels have rabies. The World as we know it...is officially over!  
====================

"I knew the squirrels were conspiring against us...I knew it since I was 10 and that squirrel threw a nut at me."  
  
"Um...Aragorn?" said Legolas quietly. "Did you take your medicine today?"  
  
Aragorn looked around. "Maybe."  
  
Elladan smirked. "It seems like our little brother is imagining things again."  
  
Elrohir nodded, the same identical smirk on his face. "Maybe we should call the Happy Hotel."  
  
"NO....I DON'T WANNA GO TO THE HAPPY HOTEL AGAIN! TO...MUCH...HAPPYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!"  
  
Legolas raised an eyebrow.  
  
"Again?"  
  
"He was imagining three pink Cows asked him on a date...and he said yes."  
  
Legolas was about to reply, when the window burst open. In jumped 20 little brown squirrels with those Big Puppy eyes that are nowhere near as cute as Frodo's but still have the same affect.  
  
"Awwwwwww...how cute." Legolas grinned.  
  
Suddenly, the squirrels grew sharp pointy fangs...and foam started coming out of their mouths...and their eyes glowed red.  
  
"Kill...kill...kill...kill!"  
  
Aragorn looked horrified.  
  
"I told you!" he hissed before leaping to his feet and racing out of the room screaming like Pippin (which is like a girl)  
  
Legolas, Elladan, and Elrohir all looked at each other.  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"  
  
Then, they too ran out of the room. The squirrels right behind them.  
======================

**Nice preview huh? Very promising. If you liked this story...I recommend this next one. But you don't have to read it.  
  
**Special thanks to: Bloody Akiko Nagi the Insane, Retrokitten87, Hanna M, Lomiothiel, Kelsey, Im a Brandybuck, nienna-yavetil, BubbleBubbleGumGum, meeeee, Sake, and xCandyFloss86x  
  
**I love all of you reviewing...and I hope you all stay tuned for the next episode.  
  
Hiei-Rulez**


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